Money is one of the main causes of stress across all age groups and people have a lot of feelings about it. Some people love money, some people hate money, but most people are afraid and anxious about money. Four in five Americans are worried about their financial situation, according to a 2024 survey by Discover® Personal Loans.

Although fears related to money are omnipresent, they are not often talked about because talking about money is still considered taboo. An investigation carried out by the American Psychological Association found that only 52% of adults feel comfortable talking about money, while 45% report feeling embarrassed talking about money. Secrecy can be a breeding ground for shame and only exacerbate financial fears, which can stem from personal, familial, cultural and capitalist experiences.

As financial fears have become pervasive, a relatively new field has emerged to help people deal with these complex feelings: financial therapy.

Its creation followed the Great Recession of 2008. More than a decade later, the field has grown alongside people’s financial fears. Here are four common anxieties that financial therapists regularly see cropping up in their practice:

1. Make a financial mistake

Although we all have to manage money, not everyone is. taught money or how to manage it. There is a lot of personal finance jargon that can be off-putting and confusing. Regardless of your level of financial literacy, a common fear is making a financial mistake.

“I would say the very first one and the one that tends to come up again and again really falls into that category of error. And the reason I say make a mistake is because it’s quite broad, that fear of making a financial mistake can be both general or the fear of making a mistake that it won’t be able to bounce back from,” Lindsay said Bryan-Podvin, LMSW, financial therapist and founder of Pay attention to financial balance.

Financial errors This can range from forgetting to make a credit card payment, choosing the wrong financial product or not saving at all, to not having actually invested your money and staying in cash, to not getting the necessary insurance products or not to designate beneficiaries on your accounts.

Take action: Consider signing up for autopay, do your research and comparisons, get into the habit of saving, review your investment accounts, add beneficiaries to your accounts, and look into life and disability insurance.

2. Running out of money

One of the scariest yet very common fears is running out of money. In fact, the Annual retirement study 2024 of Allianz Life Insurance Company of North America found that 63% of respondents worry more about running out of money than death.

Even millionaires are not immune to this fear. Fears are not always rational and can also be rooted in things beyond our control.

“The fear of not having enough is very heavily influenced by capitalism,” said Jillian Knight, LMFT and owner of His financial therapy. “It’s also important to note that everyone I work with has fears about money, regardless of their financial situation. »

Take action: Use a retirement calculator to see how much you might need. Create an account with Social Security Administration (SSA) to see your estimated Social Security benefits. Continue to invest to counteract the effects of inflation. If you have children, purchase term life insurance.

3. Cope with a current financial situation

Whether due to systemic factors, bad luck, or foolish or naive choices, people are often unwilling to confront their current financial situation if it is perceived as negative. We are designed to seek pleasure and avoid pain. So it’s easier to maintain the status quo than to face the pain head on.

Denial is a coping mechanism that can help deal with fear of money, but it only lasts until life forces a change. People may avoid paying taxes, opening bills, or paying off debts. While this may ease immediate negative feelings, it can lead to a shame spiral that spirals into something bigger.

Financial therapist Amanda Clayman stated that people “fear that they will waste their lives and die of shame if they do not correct dysregulated financial behaviors like avoidance, impulsive spending, underearning, or paying off debt and then starting again.”

In extreme cases, debt burden can lead to suicidal ideation. Over the past decade, I have received numerous comments and emails from people who were suicidal because of their debt after writing on the subject. They feel trapped, exhausted, hopeless and completely alone. They don’t know where to start.

“Take avoidance patterns seriously. Learn to face pain and not run from it. Learn to work with what’s going on in your body and make re-regulation part of your plan to “make money,” Clayman said.

Take action: Identify the problem. Benefit from the support of a non-profit credit counselor and build small habits. Open invoices immediately. Make minimum payments (or more). Talk to a financial therapist who can help you overcome these feelings of overwhelm.

4. Being judged in relationships

We are social creatures and most of us TO DO we care what others think of us, at least to some extent. This can carry over into the financial realm with the fear of being judged in your relationships.

“We know that money impacts our relationships with our friends, our partners, our colleagues, our family, and that fear of not knowing how to talk to someone about money because they’re afraid of being judged or embarrassed. Or: “If I set a financial limit, will I be excluded? Or will I be looked down upon? said Bryan-Podvin.

For example, not wanting to split things in half if you only order an appetizer while everyone else orders appetizers and drinks. Let your friends know that you can’t really afford that the girls’ trip you’ve been talking about for years.

In the case of many people who contact me, they are terrified of telling their family or children the truth about the debt situation they find themselves in. They fear being disowned or divorced and of changing others’ perceptions of them, which can threaten their sense of belonging.

People don’t just fear heavy or troublesome money problems. People fear how others will react if they have good financial news.

“Maybe I share with someone that I received a bonus. Do I have the right to talk about it? Or is this going to sound like bragging? » said Bryan-Podvin.

Take action: If you can’t afford something, consider declining but inviting your friends to a free or low-cost activity within your budget as an alternative. Try to have discussions in advance and be honest. “Hey, I’m paying off debt right now, so I’m just going to buy something small and pay for myself.” Ask friends and family for help if the situation is dire and let them know you want to talk about something important.

How therapy can help

Financial therapy can provide a safe space to face these financial fears. If you feel like you can’t talk to anyone about money, this is a place to start.

“I help people see money as a holistic experience that incorporates processing feelings in the body, understanding money’s place in our relationships, and exploring identity issues related to money. money,” Clayman said.

Financial therapy can help you navigate the sometimes murky and complex relationship with money and bring you clarity.

“Working with a financial therapist helps people change their thoughts, feelings, beliefs and behaviors around money to be neutral or positive. A financial therapist can help you work through your feelings about money, uncover the underlying sources of fear, and make decisions based on what you want rather than what you’re afraid of. Having a financial therapist listen to your fears with empathy and validation helps people feel seen and less alone,” Knight said.

If you want to move forward, find someone to work with on the Financial Therapy Association Website.