As business owners, it’s probably natural to want to control every element of our organizations. After all, control is part of human nature – study noted, “Evidence from animal research, clinical studies, and neuroimaging work suggests that the need for control is a biological imperative for survival. »

Having some level of control over your business is necessary. You can’t completely withdraw and not be involved in how it works. I learned the hard way that giving up too much control backfires and sets you up for failure. If you give up too much control, the responsibility could fall on the shoulders of people who shouldn’t have it. But the other side of the spectrum – trying to take complete control of every element of your business at all times – is, in my opinion, just as bad. When you’re constantly trying to control every detail of your business, your employees are less likely to have the space they need to do their jobs well. In turn, your business could suffer. It is essential to find a balance between taking control and giving up control.

As a disclaimer, I am not a mental health professional. I approach this subject with my observations and experiences. In trying to unlearn without gaining enough control, I had to navigate without ending up on the other side of the spectrum. For me, finding that happy medium is a work in progress. Something that has helped me stay on track is a key lesson from 12 Step Community where I come from, which is we don’t have control over everything, but we do have control over how we behave.

If you are a business owner who is too far along the takeover spectrum, there are several steps you can take to change course and find common ground. The goal should not be to run a chaotic business. I don’t believe chaos is the opposite of control. Rather, I believe that not needing control is the opposite of control, and that should be the goal.

1. Evaluate your tendencies

In my opinion, the first step in moving away from the desire to always be in complete control is to evaluate your tendencies. In my experience, a “checklist” of how control typically manifests itself in business is the need to always be right, to implement only one’s ideas, to impose one’s way on others and to have emotional responses to situations.

On the other hand, I’ve found that people who don’t need total control operate differently in the business world. They don’t have big ego. They are good listeners who value people’s opinions and understand that their way of doing something is not necessarily the right way. They value feedback from others and are not threatened by differing opinions.

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You can assess your tendencies by self-reflection, talking with trusted friends and family, confiding in a mentor, or talking with a therapist.

2. Get to the bottom of your need for control

Once you’ve assessed your tendencies, I think you should get to the bottom of your need for control. According to PsychCentralthe “desire for control may be rooted in fear of uncertainty.” Plus, therapist Noelle McWard wrote In Psychology today: “Control, or rather the search for control, is a form of anxiety. It is rooted in the default and often unconscious belief or feeling that “I won’t be okay” or “things won’t be okay.”

Look within yourself to discover what might be hiding behind your need for control. As with the previous step, you can also talk with trusted friends and family, sit down with a mentor, or talk with a therapist. You may realize that you may want to be in control because you are worried about your reputation or afraid of failure. Whatever the reason, it’s important to understand it and recognize that it’s okay to feel the way you feel, but that trying to gain more control isn’t necessarily the solution.

3. Start deprioritizing taking control and recognize that change takes time

The final step is to de-prioritize taking control. It’s easier said than done, but I believe small steps can make a big difference. For example, if you tend to dismiss ideas your employees come up with, you can make a mental note to not immediately respond to ideas when you hear them and to simply listen to them. Or if you realize that you tend to want your team members to approach specific tasks your way, you might decide to take a step back (starting with one task) and see the results of your employees approaching things your way. their way.

When trying to make changes, consider seeking outside help, such as from a mentor or therapist, to guide you through the process. Also, remember that change takes time. It’s impossible to go from wanting to have complete control all the time to finding a balance between too much and too little control overnight. But little by little, you can make changes that I believe will make you and your team happier and more productive in the long run.