Dear Eric: My husband and I are hurt and disappointed in our two children, both adults in their 40s. We were predicted to be in the direct path of Hurricane Helen in Georgia. It slightly changed its trajectory towards the east and we did not experience the worst of the hurricane. However, we were hit with heavy rain and extremely strong winds. Additionally, we live in a somewhat isolated area surrounded by trees.

Our kids didn’t contact us until mid-afternoon after Helene hit to see if we were affected by the hurricane (they live in different states). We raised them to be independent but caring adults, and we don’t understand why they showed little or no concern for our safety.

I think we should ask them why they don’t worry about us, but my husband thinks we should just accept that they have become selfish and self-centered. Both have previously said they had a great childhood and appreciate the way we raised them. So why didn’t they care enough to text/email/call to see if we were okay? Should I ask them?

— No recording

Dear, without registration: I’m glad you’re safe. I’m curious if this communication problem is a pattern of behavior with your children or an anomaly. If it’s the latter, you might want to think of it as such: a place where your expectations and theirs don’t match.

Regardless, you should contact them to let them know how their calls came to you. If you don’t, I fear that you and your husband will start to resent them – if you aren’t already stoking the fires of resentment. And you might construct a narrative about them that is false.

Selfish and self-centered are strong words. As a family who, from your description, seems to care about each other, you should have a conversation about ways you can all feel seen and considered.

Sometimes we think of communication patterns in relationships as a kind of “set it and forget it” feature. But as we change, the way we talk to those closest to us may change. It helps to keep checking in, keep an open mind, and be vulnerable enough to say, “That hurt my feelings and I love you enough to let you know.”

Dear Eric: This is “defendant Mumbler,” whose husband resisted hearing aids. I am a doctor of audiology and I care for elderly patients. Hearing loss can accelerate the progression of dementia/Alzheimer’s disease. Your brain is like a muscle: use it or lose it. When the brain does not receive a good signal from the ear due to hearing loss, it ends up “forgetting” the meaning of sounds, even when they are loud enough.

Unfortunately, after an initial diagnosis of hearing loss, it often takes seven to ten years for the patient to purchase hearing aids. Just think about the experiences, relationships, and joy in life that are lost, often because of pride.

— Solutions in case of loss

Dear solution: There are so many benefits to taking advantage of the care available. I hope the husband in the letter does.

Dear Eric: I am writing in response to the letter from “Confused Mom” who is concerned about her son’s college choices. You and Mom forgot something important. The son has a plan for university. He wants to attend community college.

On average, 45 percent of all undergraduate students in the United States attend community college. Additionally, among all students graduating from a four-year school with a bachelor’s degree, approximately 50 percent attended a community college in the previous 10 years.

The son makes a very wise choice. Not only will it save money, but it is well established that community college students receive more individual attention from professors and counselors and more tutoring help if they are struggling in a given course.

Additionally, the average age of community college students is 27, which means that community college courses feature a mix of ages and life experiences that can be beneficial to students who are still learning. to find their way.

— Community college work

Dear Community College Jobs: Thank you so much for expressing your support for the community college so deeply and enthusiastically. I agree, it’s a great path!