I’m a seasoned server and I’m here to tell you that you should feel free to order whatever you want.

I like ordering lots of appetizers as a meal, but why do I feel judged when I do so at a restaurant that doesn’t offer tapas? When people go to a tapas restaurant, it is generally understood that everyone will share various small plates. The server will guide you on how many items to order for the number of people at the table and you will leave shouting out what you would like most. For me, a finicky eater who doesn’t particularly like sharing food, ordering at a tapas restaurant is a complex process. Someone suggests the mushroom and garlic dish with an order of ceviche and everyone jumps at the chance and here I am: “I actually don’t like mushrooms or seafood that doesn’t are not fried.

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The mood at the table deflates, but the dishes still get added to the order and I know I’ll be paying for a percentage of food I don’t intend to eat. When I suggest Spanish meatballs and croquetas de jamón serrano, everyone is totally on board, but I’m like, “No, that was just for me.” And so on.

“I like to order what I want to eat and if it’s a million and one entrees, so be it.”

Darron Cardosa

Very often, the appetizers and sides on the menu are what I desire the most. Give me an order of fried calamari, a side of mac and cheese, and a Caesar salad and I’m good. In a tapas restaurant this would be 100% acceptable, but in almost any other restaurant it seems weird. It doesn’t matter if the server wonders if that’s “all” I want. It doesn’t matter if my husband says, “So you’re not ordering an appetizer?” I like to order what I want to eat and if it’s a million and one entrée, so be it. Just because it’s called an appetizer doesn’t mean it should be eaten before anything else.

Occasionally, when I order a bunch of apps for my meal, the server seems confused. “I’ll take all that as starter,” I said. “So you want the mozzarella sticks along with his grilled salmon?” they confirm. “Yes, that’s true. I take apps for dinner.

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I can only imagine what would happen if I asked for dessert before my cheese sticks. The kitchen can grind to a halt trying to get two different sections of the line to coordinate a synchronized flow of food. I’ve been in this situation and it’s not as easy as it should be.

“Why is a plate of three sliders supposed to be an appetizer when a big burger should be the main item?”

Darron Cardosa

When I’m at a Mexican restaurant, I’m not going to order slow-braised pork shoulder with green bean escabeche or pan-seared salmon fillet over creamy zucchini compote with jalapeños, corn kernels and cilantro. No, I go straight to the appetizer section for chicken flautas, chorizo ​​queso fundido, and a side of guacamole and chips. If I’m in a gastropub, I eat French onion soup, crab cakes and grated pear salad. An Italian restaurant? I will happily order burrata, polpette and arancini as long as they are not mushrooms. If so, I’ll have another order of any type of cheese, please.

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The fact is that we can order what we want to eat from a menu and the section it comes from means nothing. Aperitif, primi, secondi, hot starters and cold starters are just suggestions for when something should be eaten, not a definitive direction. There is no cardinal culinary rule that dictates that fried mozzarella should be eaten before something more substantial. Why is a plate of three sliders supposed to be an appetizer when a big burger should be the main item? These sliders are just as delicious whether they’re called an app or an entrée.

We’re well into the 21st century and haven’t we learned that labels don’t matter? If you want to order a million little apps and call it dinner, you can do that. I do and I don’t call them tapas.