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    • Partner wants intimacy only with third party participant
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    Partner wants intimacy only with third party participant

    Pabio Posted on

    Dear Abby
    | Jeanne Phillips

    Dear Abby: I am in an open relationship with my partner. We both like to date other people, but only if we agree on the person. It was going very well; I still have my one-on-one time with my partner. But now it seems that instead of only having sex with me, the only time he wants to touch me is if someone else comes over. What’s the best way to approach this? Should I suggest we stop inviting people over for this kind of entertainment?

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    — Adventurous Lady

    Dear Lady: Your partner seems to have lost interest in one-on-one intimacy. If this is the case, you need him to recognize it so you can adjust your life accordingly. Healthy relationships, whether open or closed, involve honest communication. If you’re unhappy with the way your relationship has progressed, you have every right to say so.

    Dear Abby: I am 58 years old and a recovering drug addict. I used drugs and alcohol for over 30 years, and now I have 20 months of sobriety, thank God. Throughout my addiction, I had a friend who was my staunch supporter. I always considered him a friend, since he was there when I was actively addicted.

    Now that I’m sober, he wants to step it up and move from being a friend to a relationship. Yes, I care about him, but he wants to get married without first knowing the real me. He is a hard worker who neither drinks nor smokes. He works and comes home. He’s exactly the kind of man I was looking for. Please advise me on what I should do.

    — Clean and sober in Florida

    Dear Clean and Sober: Your statement that this man wants to get married without first knowing the real thing (I assume you mean sober) tells you a lot. This shows me that you make mature and considered judgments, for which I commend you. He may be exactly the guy you’re looking for, but postpone marriage until you’re sure he knows and can accept the new you, strong and sober.

    Dear Abby: We have vegetarian and vegan friends. Over the years, when we have invited them to a party, we (omnivores) always make sure to include dishes that they will enjoy. But when they invite guests over for dinner, they never – ever – include a meat dish, not even a piece of chicken.

    I asked around and apparently this is everyone’s experience. Don’t you think a little reciprocity is in order? As things stand, the rule of hospitality seems decidedly one-sided. If vegans are worried about inedible leftovers, they can always provide a doggy bag for their guests.

    — Unilateral in the West

    Dear one-sided: Please consider this your wake-up call. Many vegans and vegetarians don’t want meat, chicken or fish in their kitchen. If, in addition to what they provide you, you feel the need to consume animal proteins, consume some before going to their home or after. If it doesn’t suit you, respond to their invitation with polite regrets.

    Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com.

    Pabio
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