In 2024, women are tired of conforming to men’s standards, adapting the way they dress and present themselves in certain settings to avoid distracting men.

No one has the right to dictate what a woman chooses to wear, especially in the comfort of her own home. But what happens when another woman objects?

That’s what happened to a woman on Reddit who said her roommate didn’t agree with her not wearing a bra when her boyfriend was around.

A roommate took to Reddit to ask if she was wrong for refusing to wear a bra in her own apartment.

In the IATA messagethe 21-year-old explained that she and her 22-year-old roommate have always been close and have lived together for about four years now. Six months ago, her roommate started dating a mutual friend of theirs, whom she called Mike, although she and Mike broke up after he and the roommate started dating.

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The young woman explained that Mike moved in once he and his roommate began their relationship, but he didn’t pay rent or clean up after himself, which she considers “very disrespectful.”

“I always dressed very casually in my apartment,” she explained. “No bras, small tops, shorts, etc. because I love the freedom of wearing almost no clothes. I stopped wearing the little shorts when they arrived, fine. But I refuse to wear a bra at home and rarely wear one in public (I’m lucky to have an A cup).

The woman was left feeling baffled after her roommate asked if she could start wearing a bra once her boyfriend finished. “He’s there ALL THE TIME,” the woman wrote. “So I would have to wear one all day and into the evening. No, I refused.

The roommate called the woman disrespectful for refusing to “respect his boundaries,” saying it was wrong for women to dress inappropriately in the presence of someone else’s boyfriend. However, what seems more inappropriate is the roommate’s attempt to control how her friend should dress at her house.

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The woman held her ground and maintained that she could wear whatever she wanted in her home.

As an independent young woman paying rent in her own apartment, it doesn’t seem fair that she sacrifices her comfort for her roommate’s free boyfriend, especially considering he doesn’t seem to respect her space.

Reddit users agreed that she had every right to refuse such an unreasonable request and perhaps even report her unofficial move in to their landlord.

“She brings a man into your shared private space. Just because you both pay rent doesn’t mean it’s a public space,” someone commented on the post.

“She didn’t even ask if he could live there, but she’s going to say you’re not respecting his boundaries by trying to enforce a dress code in your house? She is out of touch and irrelevant.

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The woman tried to disguise her unreasonable dress code request as a boundary, but it wasn’t.

It’s understandable that the roommate might feel uncomfortable with her friend’s clothing choice in the presence of her boyfriend, but it’s not her place to make such a demand and then call it “borderline.” .

The only one boundaries that seem crossed in this situation are those of the woman.

“It’s no limit for her to demand you dress a certain way,” someone commented. “And if she wants to talk about disrespect, she needs to talk about her boyfriend’s lack of respect for the apartment.”

Reddit users pointed out that if the roommate really has a problem with her friend’s freedom in the apartment they share, maybe she should consider moving in with her boyfriend instead.

When it comes to boundaries, experts agree that it’s important to distinguish between a boundary and controlling behavior. In this case, a boundary would be if the roommate chooses to wear a bra around men because it makes her more comfortable. The controlling behavior would be the roommate telling the Reddit woman that she should dress differently to make her feel more comfortable.

This is an important distinction.

Women should ask their boyfriends for self-control rather than putting other women down.

Regardless of the obvious reasons why this roommate’s request of her friend was excessive and inconsiderate, it also highlights a persistent but outdated expectation that society continues to place on women – to dictate how a woman dresses for the purpose of regulating a man’s temptations.

The truth is that it is unfair for a woman to prioritize another man’s comfort over her own. If women are concerned that their boyfriends might be distracted by other women’s clothes, they should hold their boyfriends accountable and encourage self-controlwomen should not be blamed for their autonomy to wear what they please.

As styles and societal norms evolve, many women have opted for a braless lifestyle for the sake of comfort and self-acceptance at home and in public. In today’s generation, women hope to reduce the stigma and sexualization surrounding their breasts, and the best way to do this is to desensitize them.

In the same way men fought for the right to display their nipples In the 1930s, women followed their own path to gain the freedom to display theirs, but it became a challenge when other women continued to do so. submitting to internalized misogyny.

Self-control is a skill that anyone can learn. If men are allowed to display their bare torsos whenever they please, a woman can rightly choose not to wear a bra without being reprimanded or targeted, especially in her own home.

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Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango’s news and entertainment team based in Orlando, Florida. She covers topics related to lifestyle, human interest, adventure and spirituality.