DDaily Dirt for Thursday October 31, 2024

Moms will never be able to appreciate what it takes to be a witty father… Welcome to today’s three reflections that make up Vol. 1,100 from Daily Dirt.

1. For those who may not know – it’s mostly women, of course – dads have their own special language, especially the older dads in the crowd.

What does that mean exactly? Well, how many of the following phrases does your father come up with (repeatedly), especially in a crowd?

• “Did you fall in?” (For those who spend time in the bathroom, they can always count on Dad to say those famous words.)
• “We needed rain.” (Every time. It. rains.)
• “What is the damage?” » (Before looking at a bill. Any bill. Every bill.)
• “Let’s rock and roll.” (When it’s time to leave.)
• “Looks like we’re going to have to amputate.” (When a grandson suffers a slight scratch.)
• “I guess it’s free then.” (When a cashier has trouble scanning an item.)
• “I guess they’ll let anyone in here.” (When you see a friend in public at a restaurant or in line at Walmart.)
• “I can’t go very far without it.” (After he returns home to get his car keys.)
• “Look, horses.” (Every time the family passes a farm and there are… horses.)
• “I found it.” (After pointing a stud finder at his chest.)

Ahhh… dads. You know them. You love them.

2. Did you know (Part 171)

• This Subway will offer a foot-long double chocolate (with chocolate chips) peppermint cookie for $5. This promotion is supposed to start on November 1st.
• These Cheesy Tots are back at Burger King.
• This Culver’s has warm honey cheese curds.
• Taco Bell will soon offer five stainless steel collective cups with a focus on retro design, as well as hoodies as part of its latest product drop.
• Dunkin’s new holiday menu, which is expected to be available Friday, will include a brisket medley, an almond croissant and a special cookie butter donut.

3. So you think your son or daughter has what could be elite basketball talent?

If so, you might want to check into Montverde Academy in the Florida town of the same name. But I warn you, the tuition check you write will be memorable.

Montverde has won eight men’s basketball national titles — according to the nation’s leading prep ranking services — since 2012, including last season when the Eagles went 33-0.

Montverde hired a guy named Kevin Boyle as coach in 2011. Montverde has only lost 27 games since.

And Montverde’s women’s basketball program isn’t too bad either, having won three straight national championships.

Oh, about those tuition fees. It costs $57,380 per year to attend Montverde. The college preparatory school has an enrollment of just over 1,200 and offers 20 varsity sports.

Steve thought about this day — Personally, I use “Did you fall in?” queue at least six times a week.

Steve Eighigner writes daily for Muddy River News. Apparently Little Women spends a lot of time in the bathroom…probably hiding from Steve.